Because I just finished reading Suzanne Collins' "The Hunger Games" trilogy and have no where else to rant, here I am, BACK! On to my rant!

Let me just say that The Hunger Games and Catching Fire were AMAZING. Possibly the two best books I've read since Harry Potter. So suspenseful, gripping, and full of twists at every corner. I couldn't stop reading! I loved every plot, every mystery, and even every death, however gory. Rue's death in book 1 made me cry like a baby. I even felt sorry for Cato being mauled to death by the mutts.

Book 2 was also great--loved that the characters were more ALIVE this time, especially the past tributes. I especially appreciated Finnick, who was brash yet funny (oddly, I liked him right from the beginning). I even manage to like BOTH Peeta and Gale. I wasn't really on any "team"--I was waiting for a TURN, something to happen that would make it obvious who Katniss would eventually choose.

Now on to book 3. Horrible all around. The first half was okay, I guess. Still tolerable, but boring because it revolved so much around Katniss's insanity and not much of anything else. I liked the portrayal of District 13 and the crazy mind games going on between Plutarch, Coin, Snow, Katniss, and Peeta, but it didn't get nearly enough airtime as it was all taken up by Katniss's incessant whining and running away from everything. IT WAS SO ANNOYING. It reminded me of how I felt reading "New Moon" (Part 2 of Twilight), and how IRRITATING it was when ALL Bella seemed to do was cry, lie around doing nothing, whine, piss everyone off, and stay in her catatonic, dying state because Edward left.

I mean, COME ON! Katniss is supposed to be the HEROINE. I get that yada yada she went through hell, but she was the GIRL ON FIRE in books 1 and 2... and now suddenly she's a vegetable who can't do anything? So NOT believable! More annoying was how she acted when Peeta came back all hijacked and mindwashed. She is SO self-serving. Annoyed me to NO end.

And now, my REAL problem with book 3. It seems as though Collins' was on a tight schedule and needed to finish the book PRONTO because 90% of the characters we've grown to love had absolutely no ending at all! She just left everything hanging... and THAT to me, is the absolute WORST sort of ending. I'd rather have an ending in which everyone dies than one in which you don't know what happened to them!

For instance, what happened to Johanna? She played such a big role in books 2 and 3 and suddenly she's so unimportant that there isn't even any mention of her? And GALE!!!! He is the biggest part of the story (with Katniss and Peeta) and all that's said about him is that he gets a fancy job in 2?!!! WHAT? Are you seriously kidding me?!! I was expecting at least a REAL goodbye with some emotional talk or speech between Katniss and him.. I mean, they grew up together, were BEST friends, would've died for each other and... in the end, he just.. LEAVES? Um.. okay?

And then there's Primrose. I understand why she was killed of. It sucked because the entire story began with Katniss volunteering to save Prim's life, so the VERY LEAST that Collins could've done was give her a decent death.. but all that happens is she gets blown to bits and that's IT? Not even a chapter where everyone mourns? Argh!!!

The WORST death ever was Finnick's!! He became SUCH a pivotal character in books 2 and more importantly, 3, where I'm sure EVERYBODY fell in love with his sad character. Charming guy who survives the Games and then gets forced into prostitution in return for money by Snow. He DESERVES a good ending! There was absolutely no point in killing him off. It made me doubly angry when it's revealed that Annie is pregnant when he dies. WHAT????????? Annie is already half crazy and now her husband dies and she's left alone with a kid? WHAT!!! WHAT SORT OF ENDING IS THAT!! And to make things worse, Finnick doesn't even get an emotional death scene like Rue's. He gets mauled by mutts and that's it??? Not even a sad goodbye conversation? WHAT!!! I was PISSED OFF.

I have felt nothing but frustration since I finished reading!! What happened to all these people? What happens to Panem? Does it live in peace? What sort of government does Paylor create? Are the people happy or has nothing changed? What happened to Katniss's mom? Haymitch? Plutarch? All the other characters?

There are so many plot holes and loose ends everywhere. Collins gives us so many hints of SOMETHING and then never explains them. Why does Katniss's mom hate that song about the 2 lovers committing suicide so much? What did Boggs mean when he said kill Peeta and don't trust "them"? Who's "them"? So many other questions that I can't think of right now. It's just so crazy that Collins takes something like 5 pages to finish up the entire story. She rushed through everything and there isn't even a nice conversation in which Katniss decides on Peeta over Gale. No "moment". In fact, she just made Katniss's choice for her by killing Prim off with Gale's bombs. How easy. She just gets off like that without having to toy with an agonizing decision. Even Bella had a harder time choosing Edward over Jacob!

I know people say that yada yada the books are meant to be realistic and all.. but realism isn't why people read books or watch movies. People want something extraordinary! If we want REALISTIC, we have REAL LIFE. What's the point of reading a book that is 100% like real life?

You know the difference between Collins and Rowling? Rowling is a master at tying up loose ends. She doesn't drop hints for no reason--they ALL get explained in the end. To the very last detail. Even the smallest clues like that twinkle in Dumbledore's eye, Harry having his mother's eyes, Snape's hatred for Harry's dad; everything! She clearly thought out the books very thoroughly before writing. I've read all 7 books at least 4 times now and every time I read it, I discover something new--something that I had overlooked before. Usually it's a tiny clue. Some small mention of something that seems insignificant if you're reading the books for the first time. But when you read it again, suddenly it becomes enormously significant. That is the genius that is Joanne Rowling.

That's why people can read Harry Potter over and over again and never get bored. It's exciting and interesting every single time! Sad to say that The Hunger Games definitely left me feeling highly disappointed. Katniss's kids don't even get names. There isn't even a nice chapter where Peeta and Katniss regain what they had lost. That connection. No nice knot to tie everything up.

SO incredibly disappointing. And what a waste of my time.

I am thinking that I'm going to stop paying for this account any longer--I just don't update enough to warrant paying $20 a year just to keep my photos in the database.

Perhaps I've outgrown this blog, finally. It's been running since June 2004--almost 8 years ago. It feels like decades have passed since then--I don't think I am that same person anymore. Maybe it's time to finally move on.

I've started a new website to talk about everything under the sun having to do with dogs. You can see it here: http://luciditys.weebly.com

I'll leave this blog alive... just in case one of these days I suddenly feel inspired enough to write something of significance again.

But till then... see you soon?

I have been really bad at updating, haven't I?

It's the middle of September. Really. Sort of mind-boggling but it's also making me feel relieved that this year is finally, FINALLY coming to an end. It has been the most trying year of my life and to be honest, I can't wait to be rid of it.

2011 has tested me to my breaking point, thrown me more obstacles than I can count, and has seriously jeopardized my mental health. It has been so difficult. So heart breaking, so stressful, and unimaginably unforgiving.

I do not remember any single year of my life being quite this horrible. I just really need it to end so that I can start anew.

Beginnings again: I've finally come to the decision that I'm going to apply for grad school next year. My ticket back into Canada. Will I get in? I don't know. But here's to hoping. I miss Canada so much more than I ever thought I would. Maybe it has to do with the fact that my family's not here with me. I was doing just fine living alone in Canada... but here? Not fun at all.

In other news, it's my little brother's birthday today. He turns 12! And I feel old. Yet again. And 9/11 just passed us by. I can barely believe that it's been 10 whole years since Gene and I sat in the living room, glued onto CNN and watching in horror as the WTC fell. I was studying for my PMR exams, which was just weeks away... and I was all of 15 years old. FIFTEEN.

I can hardly even remember being 15 anymore. I must've been so much less cynical. Less jaded. I must've had so much more faith in humanity than I do now.

I've always wished that I could go back in time and relive a day in my past. Wouldn't it be such an adventure to be able to do that? To see yourself, your friends, and your family the way they were decades ago and marvel at how things have changed without you noticing?

I don't really remember who I was when I was 15 anymore. I think I've changed so drastically that I might not even recognize that person any longer. But that's just life, right? Everything changes. Like BT says in his song... the only constant is change.

In a conversation with my brother today:

Why does my life and my decisions in life affect everyone else?
Why does everyone care so much what I choose to do with my life?
I really really don't understand
Why is my life other people's business in the first place?
Not only does everybody give me shit about being single
Shit about not wanting to get married
Shit about not wanting to have kids
They give me shit in my work life too
WHAT DID EVER I DO TO THEM?? Why do my life choices even affect them? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S ANYBODY'S PROBLEM
Why would anyone at work think it's a smart move to mix work with personal stuff?
Why does nobody EVER think that I'm completely, dead serious about what I'm saying?
Why? Do I look like I'm not serious when I say something?
Do I look like I'm kidding?
Do I look like the kind of person who doesn't really know what she's talking about?

Well, here are my answers:

I know what I'm talking about ALL the fucking time.
I don't say things I don't mean.
I KNOW what I want and I don't want. Don't patronize me and try to convince yourself (or me!!) that you know me better than I do. BECAUSE YOU DON'T.
You haven't walked a DAY in my shoes.
I have more secrets than you can imagine. Secrets YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.
I don't need anybody.
I have NEVER needed anybody. That isn't going to change.
I know what I'm talking about. What? You think my ideals are a ploy to get sympathy? To sound interesting? To sound different?
You think I look like the kind of person who says crap for attention?
How dare you say "HAHA in 5 years' time I'm going to come back and see if you're still saying this." Oh yeah? Really? You wanna bet on that? Because I've been saying the same fucking thing for the past 5 years and NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

I am so much more complicated than you could EVER imagine.
Stop patronizing me. Stop trying to control my life. Stop trying to pretend like you could even for one second, solve my "problem".
Well, guess what? I don't have a "problem". The problem is you. And society. Whichever helps you sleep at night.

Once again. Message to everybody....

Leave me the fuck alone.

My iPod played “Pure Imagination” and I immediately thought of Roald Dahl (“Pure Imagination” was one of the songs on the original 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’s soundtrack; and the book was of course written by Roald Dahl). After reading through his biography; which I have oddly never read before, odd, because I’ve pretty much read everybody’s biography on Wikipedia before. Seeing as I spend at least a couple of hours a day reading articles on there, it’s really quite possible.

I realized, that Roald Dahl wasn’t just an author. He was really quite accomplished at everything. He was a pilot with the air force. He served in WWII. He spent a fortune and lots of time on research to cure diseases. He wasn’t just any man. I often wonder how people like him come around. One of the most famous examples is of course, Leonardo da Vinci. The man was an artist, a mathematician, an inventor, and a musician.

People are always talking about how it’s better to be a master of one than to be a jack of all trades. But whoever said that you have to be a master of just one? Why not set your goals higher? As high as they can go anyway? I know that I would certainly be very unsatisfied if I sucked at everything except for ONE thing. I’d rather be pretty good at everything than excellent at one and crappy at everything else.

But is it really possible? Notwithstanding the fact that none of us are polymaths like da Vinci or Goethe or Newton, could we really excel in so many different fields?

I often wonder... if technology isn’t really helping us... that what it’s really doing is limiting our capabilities. When was the last time you went outside and took a walk just because? When was the last time you saw kids playing imaginary games with one another instead of having their eyes glued on the TV screen playing some video game or other? Are we slowly devolving into a fat, useless species like the characters portrayed in Wall-E, unable to do anything for ourselves and relying entirely on technology for our survival?

I once watched a documentary... the claim was that, future wars will not be fought will guns and bullets and bombs. They will be fought with technology like magnetic pulses. The kinds that wipe out telecommunications, satellites, electricity. What would we do without all that today? More and more, regular landlines are being replaced by cellular phones. How many people even own maps anymore? We used to have people with a good sense of direction who could decipher maps (a talent we all appreciated); now? All we have are people who can key in addresses accurately in their GPS units.

Sometimes I really do fear for humanity.